January Blues and Making Decisions

23 January 2016

It snowed this time last weekend, and when I say snow I mean a really thin sheet of it. Then again it felt nice to draw my curtains on a winter morning and find a "true enough" wintery scene outside my window. Because I live in the midlands and because this is England, I doubt we're going to see anymore snow this winter (sigh).

After a long dragged Christmas holiday full of staying in pyjamas, plenty of chocolate, biscuit selections and watching films and tv. It was back to university this week, back to reality. But in fact the reality wasn't exactly how I had expected it to be like. I'm feeling run down once again. I'm indecisive, having second thoughts about the course, feeling drained and overthinking everything (I stress everything).

I wasn't completely enthusiastic with the first semester, I was frustrated with workbooks, histories, analogue process and understanding lighting (so pretty much everything). Through the Christmas holidays I was left with many questions, 'did I choose the right course?', 'will the next semester be better?' and yet those questions are still unanswered.

I never thought career paths would be this difficult. I thought once I had the idea in my mind as to what I wanted to do I'd be able to just go for it. But I guess it takes more than just going for it. My passions begin to change and I have all these ideas but I just don't know where to take them or what the next steps should be.

Yesterday at a career meeting I was asked "What do you want from a job?". What a challenge that was! To be honest I had no idea, I think I must have came up with 2 or 3 things. I think that's where these problems stem from, if you don't know what you want then your path isn't clear enough to make the right decisions.

It's still early days but I need to spend some time looking over my options and narrowing them down to then move in the right direction. No more stressing out and more of asking the right questions to the right people!


"It might take a year, it might take a day, but what's meant to be will always find it's way."

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